If you’re reading this, lucky you! I’m going to help you become a really good friend to anyone you choose. Follow these few simple steps and everyone will befriend you in no time at all! You will be so popular, cats will hiss with jealousy!
Step 1: When you accomplish something, big or small, make sure you let everyone know how great you are for such an accomplishment! Remind everyone all throughout the day how great of a person you are, how grueling the task was (even if it wasn’t) and how much thanks and praise you deserve for completing the task. Everyone likes a successful person!
Step 2: When someone hurts, betrays, upsets, or just bores you, make sure you ignore them! Ignoring them will make them realize how much they miss you and how cruel or boring they have been to you. Only weird people talk about feelings and tell people what’s really the matter with them and talk about how to resolve things “maturely.”
Step 3: when you finally befriend this person, don’t be afraid to point out all their flaws and rub them in their faces. Really good friends don’t uplift someone they are close to; instead, they tell them what they need to improve because, let’s face it, they're probably a person that you can help become a little better with your great friend skills!
By Taylor DePola
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